Royally Screwed
by kaitexpectations
Summary: Bella Swan moves from Tennessee to England in order to get closer to her father, who just happens to be the head of security for the Royal Family. She meets Prince Edward, and a drunken encounter leads her to everything she never thought she would find by moving across the pond. Bella finds out that her feelings for the prince have her royally screwed. Rated M. B/E.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all! This is my first fic, and I'm so glad that you have chosen to give it a try!**

 **I do not own any of the characters, and I'm not trying to make any money off of my story.**

 **Please enjoy, and let me know what ya think!**

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Chapter One: Royally Drunk

I weaved my way through the throngs of people crowding the local college bar. Well, I guess here, it's a pub. Everything is different here, and I guess when I made this decision I didn't realize how different it would be. Here is London. I had recently relocated from the States to live with my dad while I finished college.

My dad was English born and bred, and my mom hailed from the great state of Tennessee as the only daughter to a prominent Southern family. My parents met and had a wild fling while my mom visited during her backpacking excursion following her high school graduation. Two weeks into her trip, she fell pregnant with me. She and my dad had tried to make a go of it, but when she couldn't take the foreign lifestyle any longer, she came home from Europe with an infant, me. My Nonny and Poppa were less that pleased to find out that their only daughter had gotten pregnant while away and had gotten married to and divorced my father without them even knowing. Being upstanding Southern folks, the whole ordeal was scandalous in my hometown, but they weren't too surprised. My mother had always been flighty and self-centered, and she didn't see how having a kid should change that. It was difficult growing up so far away from my dad, but going to see him was a lot more exciting for me than my friend Tia who just drove to the next town to see her mom. However, when mom married some baseball player and took off to Florida without telling me, I knew it was time to connect with dear old dad.

Using the connections from my daddy's job and my dual citizenship, I got into the University of London. I had been in London for all of three weeks, and I still hadn't quite figured out how to blend in. I blame my deep Southern twang, which not only stands out as American, but abnormally American. I had only made a few friends since coming over. Classes didn't start until September, and I still had another month until then. Since I wasn't living on campus, my days had consisted of exploring my new home. Until Angela, one of said few friends, had dragged me out to the pub, stating that I would become a "nutter", which led me to being cramped on the second floor of a grossly overcrowded bar. No one was paying any mind to me, they all seemed to be looking down on some guys making a spectacle of themselves. I finally found Angela, peering over the railing and chanting with the rest of the drunks. I watched as they played some drinking game I wasn't familiar with. I could tell that they were racing, but before I made sense of anything else, one of the rowdy gentlemen stood on the table and started running his mouth, while the rest of the guys kept playing.

He was insanely attractive, with sharp features and eyes gleaming with youth and life, and almost everything he said got cheers from the crowd. Being from the South, I recognized this type of guy almost immediately. My friend Jess from back home insisted on getting trussed up and crashing local college parties whenever they happened, which was often. I learned a lot from those excursions. There was always one guy who thought the sun rose just to listen to him. He'd stand on the table and be loud, and he was always met with cheers. He was attractive and dressed nice and was oh so charming. I hated those guys. Truth was, I had always fallen for it. I'm pretty sure I always would. I was that girl who fell in love with the fraternity president. He used all those pretty words to get me on the line, and then he threw me back when he found out I wasn't in season.

By about the fifth round of uproarious cheering, I had had enough. "Hey, it's a race, ya idget! Why don't you use the sense God gave you?"

At my words, the entire bar went silent and everyone had stopped what they were doing to look at me. I looked around to faces with a myriad of expressions ranging from shocked to amused. Angela elbowed me hard in the ribs, and when I looked over, she was red as a tomato. "Bella," she hissed, "you just insulted Prince Edward!"

Immediately, I was just as red as Angela. I looked down to the group of men. The one I had insulted, Prince Edward, stared back with one of those amused expressions as I stumbled for words. "Uhm, I mean, why don't you use the sense God gave you, Your Highness?" I said with a pathetic curtsey. I was more than a little drunk at this point, and I'm pretty sure if it weren't for being squished against the railing of the balcony by the millions of people in the joint, I'd have fallen on my face.

At my words, the handsome prince threw his head back with laughter. The whole bar followed suit. When he was finished mocking my obvious shame, he replied, "I think there a quite a few things in life one must slow down to enjoy. A beer with your mates," he paused allowing the cheers to die down before he continued, "and a beautiful woman in your bed among them." With that, he threw me a suggestive smirk. I rolled my eyes and backed away from the railing. Angela followed, no doubt due to the embarrassment of having an obviously American friend insult the Prince.

"Bloody Hell, Bella, way to blend in with the Brits," she remarked as I headed back to the bar.

I ignored her and ordered another drink. It was bad enough that an entire bar full of people heard me insult a member of the royal family, I didn't need her rubbing it in. I grabbed my drink and ignored the stares from everyone around, ogling the ignorant American. One of them mumbled, "Bloody tourist" at me as he walked by. To which I shouted, "I'm a damned citizen!"

As I threw back most of the liquid without thought, I turned to Angela and said, "I"m going to the bathroom."

She responded, "The loo! I thought you were trying to blend in."

"Well, I'm doing a bang up job of it right now." as I walked away. I found the bathroom in a cramped hallway in the back corner of the pub. It always amazed me how they put the bathrooms all the way back here with no space. In the States, it was almost impossible to get to the bathrooms in a bar. However, here there was no line at all. In fact, the little hallway was practically deserted. There was a mirror in the hallway right before the door to what I figured was the bathroom. I paused to look at my reflection. A frowning face stared back at me. I couldn't understand why I stood out so far, barring my obvious lack of filter and my Southern twang. I was a British citizen, but I certainly didn't feel like one.

I didn't notice his piercing green eyes until after his hands spun me around by my waist. He backed me up against the wall, and words lost me as his face came within centimeters of my own. I took the time to truly admire his perfect aristocratic looks. I was amazed that I hadn't realized it was him before Angela told me. Even if I didn't know exactly who he was, I could've guessed his importance. His jaw was chiseled from marble, and he had a hint of stubble but not so much as to make him unkempt. His lips were beautiful and perfectly smooth, not chapped and burnt like someone who worked outside. His nose was just a little crooked, so as not to make him look perfect and utterly unattainable. What a farce that crooked nose was. My gaze made its way to his eyes and realized that their gem green stare was taking me in just as much as mine was him. Topping off the perfect creature was tousled hair that looked purposefully unpurposeful. I snorted thinking how long he must have spent giving people the illusion of indifference

I'm pretty sure I heard him mumble "Christ" but I chose to ignore it. He took a moment to regain his composure before he said, "You know it's fairly rude to take a piss on a complete stranger."

"Especially if they're a member of the Royal Family," I finished for him.

"I didn't say that," he countered, leaning in closer but still not touching me.

"What do you think you're doing? It's also fairly rude to back a complete stranger up against a wall and stare at them," I said. I was desperately hanging on to the shred of sanity I had remaining.

"I'm using the sense God gave me. By the way, I'm Edward," he said, throwing my own words back at me. It was odd hearing the phrase coming from him. His accent not quite matching the words in my mind, as his breath wafted over my face. It smelled of beer and mint and tobacco. Many people didn't like the smell of tobacco, but it reminded me of my father. I didn't see him often, but when I did, I committed every detail of his entire being to memory, so that it would last me the year that I had to wait before I'd see him again.

I noticed his expectant gaze. Right, he was waiting for my name. "Bella," I breathed.

"Now we aren't strangers," Edward replied.

Before I could respond, he crashed his lips against mine. I had been kissed many times before but never like this. He completely took the power away from me as he pulled my body up against his. I was now pinned between him and the wall with no where to go. It was obvious, that he was used to using his status as the freaking Prince of England to get exactly what he wanted when he wanted it, but he didn't know that I was my daddy's daughter and that I was raised in the South. I snaked my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled him farther down into me. The movement momentarily caused him to lose focus. I took advantage of that and massaged his tongue with mine.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. His breathing was labored and matched my own. "Let's go," he said, grasping my wrist and pulling me towards the emergency exit down the hallway.

"I can't," I said. He looked like I had just kicked his puppy, no doubt thinking that I didn't want him, but I amended my statement, "I came here with my friend. I can't just leave her."

He looked thoughtful for a minute, then replied, "Go tell her you're leaving, then go out this door and I'll be waiting for you." I nodded, and he gave me a small peck on the forehead. It was oddly tender for coming from a man I just met, but I was three sheets to the wind at that point, so I didn't question it.

I found Angela fairly quickly. It seemed after my outburst, the game dissipated and many of the spectators had left for the evening. I grabbed Angela's elbow and steered her away from the conversation she was having with the bartender. "Ow, you bitch, I was going to get him to give me a free drink!"

"Yes, I know, you're a little slut!" I laughed. "Listen, I'm gonna head out."

"Oh, come on you bore. Stay and have another drink," she replied.

"No, I think I'm gonna go." I let my statement trail off, not giving her any other information. However, Angela had gotten really good at reading me, stating that I wore my thoughts on my face. She studied me before bursting out, "Takes one to know one you little tart! Who are you going home with? Maybe I should call the Prince an idiot in an American accent."

"Ange, please people are staring. It's nothing. I'll call you tomorrow," I said, leaving before she could continue to laugh at me.

I wound my way back to the little abandoned hallway, noticing now that I had gotten lost on my way to the bathroom, as there weren't any in this hallway. I made my way to the door, and steeled myself for what was to come. I opened the back door and looked around the alley way noticing nothing but the sounds of the street driving from around the corner. All my excitement from earlier left me. Of course the English Prince didn't want a hick from America. Then, I remembered what my Nonny always told me when I had come home from visiting my dad. I would always feel down when the British kids would make fun of my Tennessee accent, and she would say, "You are not a hick, Isabella. You are a Southern Belle, which in my book, is better than royalty." Nonny's words floated through my head. She was right. I was better than this. I was better that being his warm body. I had heard stories about the prince, the way he was with women. I thought how stupid I was about to be, and thanked my lucky stars that he hadn't shown up. For Christ's sake, he was a fucking prince, and I was treating this like any ole one night stand. I straightened myself out and turned to go back inside. I had already told Angela I was leaving, so maybe there was some other bloke in there would want the exotic Southern Belle. Before I could make it to the door, two hands grabbed me. I could tell they were his hands by the electricity that crackled through my veins.

"Certainly, you weren't thinking of abandoning me," he said, punctuating his statement by trailing his tongue up the shell of my ear. The action was so erotic that I had to use all of my willpower to stop myself from letting him take me behind the bar.

"This is a mistake, _Your Highness_ ," I said. I needed to let him know that we were from different worlds.

"No, it isn't, and please don't ever address me by my title again," he said. His eyes were boring into mine with an intensity I had never encountered before. He had once again backed me against the dirty brick wall. I looked down the alley; his closeness would crush my resolve. He was having none of it though. His hand came under my chin and guided my face back to his. I chewed on my lip. It was a terrible habit that my Nonny had tried to rid me of, and as a result, my lower lip was slightly more plump that my top. "If this were a mistake, you wouldn't be avoiding me like this."

"I'm avoiding you because I know what a mistake this is. You don't know anything about me, and you do't want to," I said indignantly.

"That's where you're wrong. I know that you are from the Southern part of America, and I would very much like to explore your mind after I'm finished with your body," he replied.

I rolled my eyes at his words, but at the same time, my insides turned to mush. I'm sure this was the hardest he had ever tried to get into a girl's pants. I continued my attempt to get away from him, before I bowed to our chemistry. "Anyone who's ever heard me talk knows I'm from the South."

He paused for a moment. I could see in his eyes that he was looking for a response hat was going to get me to come home with him. I decided to interrupt his plotting, because even in my drunken state, I knew that I should not leave this alley way with him. However, as I open my mouth, he crashed his lips into mine. His kiss consumed me once again. Every nerve ending in my body worked overtime just to take in the sensations he gave me as he wound his arms around my torso and pulled me into him. I was thoroughly unprepared for that kiss. So, I let him carry me away. I assumed he brought me back to his campus apartment, but I was so wrapped up in the way he was touching me, we could've teleported to another dimension, and I wouldn't have noticed.

The next thing I knew, I was on the softest bed I'd ever encountered. However, I didn't get a chance to revel in the fact, because there was a handsome prince who had begun taking his clothes off in front of me. He unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off of his body. I'm pretty sure that all of the sanity I had left was gone. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I had lost all the good sense that God gave me a long time ago. If it hadn't, I wouldn't have been in his room in the first place, but as he revealed his toned muscles, I knew that I could never regret this. I could never regret him.

He stood there smirking as I mindlessly stared. I could see the teasing sparkle in his eyes, and I decided to shut him up before even started. I less than gracefully whipped the shirt I was wearing off of my body to reveal the barely there lace bra that I had been forced into at the beginning of the his dumbfounded stare made my discomfort completely worth it. He climbed on top of me laving one of my breasts through the material with his tongue, while he fondled the other with his right hand, his very talented and muscular right hand.

Prince Edward was a boob man.

I filed that little tidbit away for later. Right now, I couldn't form a coherent thought, because Edward flicked my pebbled nipple in just the right way. He unhooked my bra and slid the straps down my arms, getting back to business as quickly as possible. I tipped my head back as the sensation rolled over me. I moved my hands from the base of his skull down his muscled torso. Edward wasn't chiseled like a meathead, but he definitely had some nice definition. As I explored his body, he released my breasts. Edward slid his hands down my body to the waist of my skirt. He pulled the material down, and I shimmed the fabric down my legs revealing a lacy thong that matched the bra that was hanging off of a portrait, which I'm pretty sure was the real deal, not some knockoff he bought on the street.

Before my thoughts could drift too far in the direction of embarrassment, Edward kissed his way down my body. He was on his knees and bent at the waist. I could see a peek of his firm ass showing from his unfastened chinos. I couldn't linger on the thought for long as he moved my panties to the side and explored my folds with his fingers. I was almost embarrassed about the moan I let out when he added his tongue to my clit.

"You taste magnificent," Edward said as he broke away from my body. I may or may not have huffed at his timing. I had been so close to the edge, with so little stimulation. He looked at my face and smiled. The bastard had known that I was ready. He leaned up and kissed me again. "I want to be inside of you when you cum."

He kicked off his chinos and boxer briefs in a sloppy rush, as I did the same with my panties. His cock sprang forward, and I was very impressed with how above average he was. I licked my lips and pulled the lower one into my mouth. He came back to my face and pulled my lip out of my mouth with his thumb. Edward crashed his lips to mine. I was a little startled by the tangy taste of his mouth. My Southern upbringing made me ashamed of how turned on I was tasting my juices that lingered on his tongue. His dick slid up and down my opening, getting coated by my wetness. I panicked when I felt the tip stop at my entrance. I pulled away from the kiss. Edward registered the worried look on my face and wordlessly asked what was wrong. I responded to his unasked question with "Do you have a condom?"

He looked disappointed before he reached in to his bedside drawer. He rolled the latex over his hard cock. He looked up and smiled devilishly at me. "Bastards are a bit of a nasty business," he chuckled as he moved his cock against my pussy again. I was much too turned on my the action to get offended by his smarmy words.

"Jesus, Edward! Just fuck me!" I said as I couldn't take it any more.

"As you wish, my lady," he said as he pushed into me.

I gripped his shoulders as my body yielded to his assault. He was stretching me as his cock took up residence inside of me. I moaned like a whore as he settled balls deep. Edward paused giving me a moment to adjust to his size. He was only slightly bigger than the last guy that I had sex with, but it had been a while since that encounter. I had to admit that I was grateful for his consideration.

"Oh god, Bella," Edward moaned as he pulled out slightly. I clenched around him, as I mourned the temporary loss. He slammed back into me, hitting just the right spot. I screamed out in pleasure as I dug my fingers deeper into his shoulders. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my heels anchored into his toned ass. I could feel the muscles tense every time his pushed and pulled into me.

He leaned down to the juncture where my neck met my shoulders and sunk his teeth into the flesh. I moaned again as he sucked. I giggled through my moans at his childish move. I was going to have the hickey to end all hickeys tomorrow.

I pulled his head off of my neck and brought him into a kiss. Then, using all of my strength, I attempted to push us over. It didn't work. He laughed and pulled me over him. I bounced on his magnificent cock. As I moved, I could feel him going deeper. If it was even possible, I was getting wetter than when we started. I didn't think it was. I looked down at Edward, but he wasn't looking back. His eyes were glued at my chest. I checked to see what was so fascinating. My boobs were bouncing as I moved up and down on his cock. I didn't have the biggest tits of any girl I'd ever seen, but I had a nice handful. I had been told anything more was a waste. My nipples were hard, and Edward seemed to like that, as he slid his hand up my sides to pinch and tease them.

I slowed down my movements to deeper thrusts. Edward realized what I was doing and moved his hips up to meet mine. The combined effort had me close to the edge. "Oh Edward! Don't stop!" I moaned. I leaned down to kiss him, which was hard to do, because of the joint movements. The kiss was sloppy but still as wonderful as all the others.

"Are you close, baby?" Edward asked. I looked to his face, and it was one of deep concentration. He was trying to last longer than me. I nodded biting my lip.

It was obvious that my finishing first was important to him, so I sat up on his cock and reached my hand down and started furiously circling my clit, as I leaned back a little more, helping him reach that spot inside me. "Oh Christ, Bella," he said with his eyes glued to my hand.

"Edward, I'm so close!" I panted. "Please! I need it!" Edward sat up and continued thrusting into me with fervor. He lowered his head and I thought he was going back to the hickey. I had never been so happy to be wrong. He bent his neck at a funny angle and captured my diamond point nipples. He sucked momentarily, before biting down. Hard. I screamed and came.

I had never believed in all those stupid cliches about orgasms. Sex had always been fun but never "Earth-shattering". However, the only way I could describe the feeling of this orgasm was with all of those tired phrases. I felt as though I was being tossed around in the undertow after falling off a surfboard. The excitement pumped through me, and I was terrified that I wouldn't resurface. I couldn't tell which way was up or down, until Edward pulled me down on top of him. His panting matched my own. I rested on his chest for a moment, before I felt all squishy down below.

I sat up and pulled myself off of him. I laughed at his pout as I removed the condom from his now soft cock. His eyes darkened, and he twitched slightly at the sight of me backing away from the bed with a swish of my hips. I dumped the condom in the toilet and rummaged around for a washcloth. I found what I was looking for after several minutes of snooping and cleaned myself up a bit. I walked back out into the bed room. Edward was still lying on the bed with his arm draped over his eyes. I dragged the washcloth over his cock, cleaning off the remnants of his cum. Edward groaned but didn't move his arm. I smiled as his dick rehardened in my hand.

"Bella," he moaned. I had altered my movements from utility to pleasure. It was an odd feeling. I had never really had the urge to blow a guy before. I had—usually at his insistence—but I had never wanted to, not really. I threw the washcloth across the room with the other dirty laundry and continued stroking him with my hand. Once he was completely hard again, I took a tentative lick of his cock. It was musky and manly, and there was a slight trace of latex from the condom. Edward finally took his arm from his face and threaded his fingers through my hair. I took his encouragement and lowered my mouth down on his length. His grunts and moans egged me on, and I moved my head faster over his cock. What didn't fit in my mouth was stroked by my left hand as the right fondled his balls. I pulled almost all the way off and rolled my tongue around his head, before plunging back down a little further.

I looked into his eyes as I worked his length. He gazed back with what looked like adoration in his eyes. I thought that was weird while getting a blowjob, but as I looked back, it was the way he had looked at me all night. He told me how beautiful I was without the words ever leaving his mouth. I was interrupted from my musings by his cock twitching my mouth. I knew he was about to cum before he said anything. I braced myself for the action. I knew it was going to be unpleasant for me, but in the etiquette classes Nonny made me take before putting me in the Brentwood Deb, they taught me that a lady never spits anything out because she doesn't like the way it tastes; a lady swallows it with a pretty little smile on her face. That little tidbit stuck with me. The bitter taste hit the roof of my mouth, as Edward grunted out his release.

After I had finished swallowing all he had to offer, Edward pulled me up to his face. He must have never had a woman swallow before, because he moved to kiss me. I clapped my hand over his mouth. He looked confused, but I held a finger up indicating that I needed a minute. He nodded and leaned up to kiss my forehead. I ran quickly to the bathroom. I had seen the mouthwash on the sink the last time I was in there. I grabbed it quickly and rinsed out my mouth. When I came out, Edward was lying on his back with the covers over him on the right side of the bed. I launched myself on top of him, and he let out a groan, as we bounced on the bed. I laughed. It was very joyful. I couldn't remember the last time I had been so giddy after sex. I mean, it was great sex, but I still couldn't explain it. Edward wound his arms around me and gave me a sweet kiss before depositing me on the left side of the bed. I wrapped myself in the covers and snuggled into his side. Edward wound his arm protectively around me, and we both drifted off to sleep.

A loud buzzing sound roused me from my sleep the next morning. I picked up my head slightly to take stock of my surroundings. There was a hazy light from the sunrise filtering in giving me a picture of an immaculate, but untidy room. I was too tired and definitely too hungover to take in much more. The buzzing had stopped during my observations but resumed once again. I groaned, wanting nothing more than to fall back to sleep. The buzzing finally stopped again, for good I hoped. Just as I was drifting back to sleep, I heard a voice call, "Your Highness," quietly from across the room. The voice sounded very familiar and called Edward by his title, so I burrowed my head into Edward's side. I realized I was completely nude, and the sheet only covered my bare ass. I could feel my cheeks heat up, the voice had to belong to Edward's body guards.

Edward didn't stir, so the voice called a little louder, "Your Highness." Again, Edward didn't answer, and again, the voice called a little louder, "Prince Edward, sir." This time Edward groaned. I couldn't take it anymore. The longer Edward's body guard stayed, the more of a chance there was that he would recognize me. I poked Edward in side. The stirred and smiled down at me.

"Good morning, beautiful," he mumbled. His voice was rough with sleep, and I could feel myself getting turned on by his rumpled appearance. However, the faceless voice interrupted that train of thought when he said, "Your Highness," once again.

"Edward, get rid of him," I said, pulling my lip into my mouth and trailing my hand down his torso to his cock, which was poking me in the thigh.

"Jacob," Edward said and my heart sank. Jacob probably recognized me as soon as he opened the door. Shit. "You heard the lady get lost."

"Sir," Jacob started, "your presence is requested at the palace."

"Alright, we'll go as soon as I'm done entertaining," Edward groaned. I had started rubbing his length, trying to make him get rid of Jacob.

"I was told it is imperative that you get there right away, Your Highness," Jake said. It was odd to hear him talk like that. He was definitely tamping down his normal Irish lilt. It was far more pronounced every other time I had heard it.

"Well, the sooner you piss off, the sooner we'll be at the palace," Edward grumbled. He became irritated that Jacob was still in the room while I was rubbing him.

"Sir, your father called me personally when he couldn't get ahold of you. He has requested your presence immediately. I could also hear your mother swearing in the background," Jacob replied with more urgency. At the mention of his mother, Edward's dick started to deflate. I cursed Jacob for ruining the mood.

"Alright, Jacob, I'm coming," Edward said, sitting up and flinging the covers off of him. I had to scramble to ensure they didn't come off of me as well. I made sure that I didn't give myself away by turning towards the door though. I guessed that Jake hadn't left the room yet, because Edward said, "At least have the decency to let the lady get dressed in private, you wanker."

Footsteps sounded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Jacob had recognized me, he wasn't going to say anything. However, before I could celebrate my small victory, Jake said, "Bella, your father is looking for you, and the Chief is not happy." He chuckled and closed the door before I could do anything, and I found myself cursing Jacob Black once again. Shit. Shit. Double shit. I was going to kill that bastard. He just couldn't let me make my exit. I was so close.

"Er, Bella, how do you know Jacob?" Edward asked, breaking me away from plotting Jake's death.

"Uhm, his father and mine go way back. They used to work together," I answered vaguely. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought about my response. Edward's eyes widened as the pieces fell into place.

"Bella, is your father Charlie Swan, Chief of the Royal Protection Guard?" He asked. I covered my face with my hands and nodded silently. I was royally screwed. Pun so intended.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey y'all! I'm back! Real quick before we get started, there are a few things I wanted to say.**

 **First, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited and followed my story!**

 **Second, some of the reviewers pointed out that the first chapter was similar to the E! show _Royals_. This is true. I got the idea from the show, however if you have seen the show, I will be changing up some things quite a bit. Mainly that was the only scene that will be really close to the show. (I just really loved that scene!) Also, if you haven't seen the show, it's pretty okay. I thought that it was going to be like a fun scandalous kind of drama and halfway through the season it turned into a modern _Hamlet_ melodrama. I will not be doing that. For the most part, I'm going to be doing fun drama! Yay fun!**

 **Last but not least, I have decided to set myself a posting schedule. I will be posting every Wednesday or Thursday, depending on how real life treats me.**

 **Now, back to Royalward and SouthernBella.**

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 **Chapter Two: Royally Familial**

I looked up from my hands to see Edward gaping at me. He took a breath as if to say something only to shut his mouth. He opened it again then closed it. He did this several times.

"I'm so royally screwed," Edward muttered finally. I couldn't help the giggles that burst out of my mouth at his statement. He looked at me like I'd grown a third eye.

"I really don't know what you find so funny about this," he said.

"I'm sorry. I just had the same thought when Jake said that Daddy was looking for me. And for God's sake, Edward, you're a damned prince. You shouldn't be afraid of anything. Especially not Daddy."

"You calling the gun-wielding Chief Swan 'Daddy' is really fucking me up right now, Bella," Edward responded. "He could shoot me!"

"What is wrong with you? I can handle my daddy just fine, Edward," I said.

"Bella, I just defiled Chief Swan's daughter. Repeatedly. In very naughty ways. He's going to kill me, regardless of my rank," Edward replied. I was getting kinda hot thinking about all the ways he had defiled me last night. I smiled as I remembered waking to Edward fondling my breast in his sleep. I promptly woke him up and let him have me again. However, Edward's nervous pacing detracted from the sexiness.

"Please, Edward. I'm certainly not going to tell my dad that we had sex, and I sure as hell wasn't complaining all of the defiling that happened last night," I said. I walked over to Edward and stopped him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my naked chest to his. I leaned up and whispered in his ear, "In fact, I wouldn't mind a little more defiling right now."

Edward looked at me with a horror stricken face. In fact, he seemed a little green around the gills now that I was looking at him properly. I think he even murmured what sounded like "devil woman" and walked away from me. He began to dress himself in the wrinkled button down from last night.

"Oh Edward, get over yourself. Daddy's not gonna find out about last night, and he probably won't even care," I said, putting my dress back on. There wasn't any point in trying to coerce him into another round, because I'm fairly certain in his panicked and paranoid state he wouldn't be able to get it up anyway.

"Why would your father not care that you had been defiled like a common whore?" Edward asked. Ouch. I knew this was a one-time thing, and we certainly weren't going to ride off into the sunset, but his words stung. Seeing my reaction, he quickly tried to make amends for his statement. "Bella, I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's fine," I replied. "My daddy and I barely know each other. I spent two weeks with him a year. He spent most of that time working, while I spent most of my time sneaking around the tunnels with Jake. Save for a few phone calls and letters, we didn't speak. I was his and Renee's mistake." I tried not to go down that road where I started feeling sorry for myself. I had been down that familiar road too many times, and if Nonny found out, she'd have me back in Nashville sitting in my therapist's office before I could say "bloody hell".

"Is that what your mother told you? That Chief Swan thought you were a mistake? Because that is not true. He thinks his little girl hung the moon and stars. I remember in the weeks leading up to your visits every year made him a completely different man. He would walk up and down the corridors whistling. He works so hard so that he could pay for your schooling and plane tickets every year. He wants to give you everything. My father said that he kicks himself for not filing for full custody when your mother left." Edward was a fantastic liar. He was probably raised to give people false compliments his whole life. He could've gone on all day, I'm sure. It didn't matter, and I told him as much.

"It doesn't matter, Edward. We're never going to see each other again, and I don't plan on telling my dad that we fucked!" With that, I got up to gather my belongings and made my way to the door.

Edward grabbed my elbow to stop me. "Wait just a second, Bella. What do you mean we won't see each other again? You live at the palace."

"Yes, but not the parts that the royal family occupies. One of the conditions of my living at the palace was to stay out of the parts used daily, either by the royal family or the tours. I'm pretty much relegated to the servant's areas or my father's apartment," I replied, gnawing on my lip. It was kinda embarrassing, but I had been so desperate to get out of Tennessee that I would've said yes to anything.

"Then, I'll come to you," Edward replied.

"Edward, stop. We both knew this was a one-time thing. You don't have to pretend to date me because you have some delusion that my dad is going to shoot you." He was still holding me close, and it startled me, how intense his expression had gotten.

"Bella, I'm not going to pretend to date you, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see you again. I want to take you on real dates. Even if your father can end me with a pull of a trigger." He audibly gulped at the last part.

"We're from completely different worlds. There's no way that we would work," I said, waving my hand in the air between us.

He didn't respond. I was about to push him away when he pulled me into a kiss. All the clichés came to mind as my lips melded with his. I thought the night before had all been a drunken, horny fluke, but I was dead wrong. My hands wove into the hair at the nape of his neck. They gripped the curled locks and never wanted to let go. Unfortunately luck wasn't on my side. Jacob called through the door that Edward needed to leave. We broke the kiss, and Edward threaded his fingers through mine as he grabbed his things. He led me out the door to the idling town car.

"I'll see you later," I said with a kiss. I was still floating from the one we shared inside. I knew this feeling couldn't last, but I'd surely enjoy it while I could.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To get a cab?"

"Right, where are you going? I'll drop you," he said.

"Home. I have to deal with Daddy before he sends the whole blessed English Army after me," I replied.

"I thought so. In you go," he said, gesturing to the car.

"Edward. You have some issues with your own family. I'll let you go, and we can talk later," I said, pulling away. Once again, he didn't say anything. He pulled me into another deep and passionate kiss. Once he released my lips, Edward guided my dazed body into the back of the car. He followed, and Jacob closed the door. As he pulled away from the curb, I said to Edward, "You can't just kiss me silly every time we have a disagreement."

"I can, and I will. It's a very effective tactic in getting my own way," he responded, planting another one on my lips. I replied with equal fervor until Jacob cleared his throat from the driver's seat.

"Oh don't even give me that look, you ass," I said at Jacob's eyes teasing me in the mirror. "How'd you even know it was me?" I gave him a warning look as I said it. It was waaaay to early in this…. whatever it was with Edward to be having the "exes" talk.

"Please, Bella, I'm hurt. You're my best friend. Of course I recognized you," he replied with a fake pout. I shot him a look that said "I'm calling bullshit." And he said, "Alright, but it's not everyday you meet a woman with your initial carved in her back." He laughed. Ass.

"You know damn well that I didn't carve a J into my shoulder," I responded. I then muttered, "Stupid tree branch."

Jacob let out a big belly laugh at my expense. "If you hadn't tried to dig the bloody thing out yourself, it wouldn't have turned into a right mess!"

Edward squeezed my fingers, which were still intertwined with his own. I looked up at his confused face and sighed. This was not my most glorious moment and once again, I found myself wanting to strangle Jake this morning. "I told you earlier every time I came to visit dad, I spent the time with Jake?" He nodded, and I continued, "I wasn't the most graceful Swan in the world, and this horse's ass wanted to go ride bikes. I agreed and he decided it would be great fun to take me to the middle of the woods to 'mountain bike'. The long-short of it is that I went flying down a hill and landed flat on y back. I got up and started cursing him a blue streak. He had this panicked look on his face. I felt smug thinking that he was actually afraid of me. He wasn't."

I was interrupted by Jake's chortling from the front. "She had a facking tree branch sticking out of her shoulder!"

Edward began laugh along with Jacob. I shot him a glare and continued, "And this dumbass just stares at me like I'd grown a second head! By the time the adrenaline had worn off and I realized I was in pain, his pansy ass had fainted. He fainted like a little girl at the tiny bit of blood seeping out of my shoulder."

"Tiny bit of blood?!" Jacob interrupted again. "Bella, you had to get a blood transfusion!"

"Whatever!" I grumbled. "Anywaaay, while he was laying on the ground doing shit-all to help me, I was trying to get the damned thing out of my shoulder. Needless to say, it didn't work out quite like I had planned."

"When I got up, I sprung into hero action. Pedaled her ungrateful arse all the way back to yer uncle, so she could get stitched up," Jake finished, through chuckles as he continued to laugh at my childhood misfortune.

"Carlisle?" Edward asked. I nodded in response. "Why haven't we ever met? I spent most of my summer holidays following him around."

"I'm sure you had princely duties to perform," I said, waving my hand like a princess.

"Not likely. I'm the spare. They wouldn't waste their time grooming me unless something happened to Emmett," Edward responded. "I'm planning on going into medicine like my Uncle Carlisle."

"Right," I said, pensively. Before anything else could be said on the subject, we pulled up to the back gates of Buckingham fucking Palace. If Edward didn't need to find the perfect bride to one day become Queen, was there any hope for us? I didn't want to get too excited. I was still getting used to living in the damn palace, any more hope, and the dam would surely burst. We didn't say anything else as we pulled up the long drive and Jacob opened the door for us. He gave an over exaggerated bow as I stepped out of the car and tried to trip me at the same time. I stuck my tongue out at him as I gracefully stepped over him.

"I see the graceless Swan is no more," he said. It stung to be reminded that since I had become older, I stopped coming to visit my dad. Nonny had me enrolled in so many activities that I hadn't been able to find two weeks in my summer to come see my best friend and my daddy.

"Nonny enrolled me in dance and etiquette classes as soon as she found out what had happened. It wouldn't be very fashionable for me to face plant at the Brentwood Deb, now would it?" I replied as I walked away from him.

I tried to leave Edward once more, but he grabbed my hand tightly. "Edward, please. We both have family things to take care of. I promise, I'll see you later."

He leaned in closer, and I immediately put my hand over his mouth. There was no way I was letting him get away with that again. Instead he stood up straight. It looked as though he was mentally preparing himself for battle. I looked at him skeptically.

"Okay, we'll face off with Chief Swan first." Edward looked positively ill as he said the words.

"You're not going to leave the fucking King and Queen of England waiting while I argue with Daddy about his ridiculous curfew," I replied, trying once again to regain control of my hand.

"Very well, this way to the Royal Sitting Room," Edward said stuffily. I rolled my eyes and followed him down the hallways I'd only seen when Jake and I had taken the tour of the palace for fun. This walk was much more nerve-wracking than the one filled with laughs and snide comments from my best friend. Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly, noticing the tension coursing through me, but I knew he was in pain. My nails were digging into the back of his hand, no doubt leaving behind little half moon indents similar to the ones I noticed on his back this morning. I startled myself with the reminder of last night, because it jolted the memory of the hickey Edward left on my neck. I quickly covered the love bite with my hair, smoothing it two more times unnecessarily. My hands were shaking and sweating. I needed to clear my mind of last night in order to meet the King and Queen of England.

As we approached the biggest parlor room I had ever seen, I took in the opulence of it. There were giant oil paintings on every wall and gold thread—probably real gold thread—in almost every stitch of furniture. The room overall was warm and inviting, with yellow curtains and furnishings, but the grandness of it made me nervous.

I noticed on one of the love seats surrounding the large mahogany coffee table sat the King and Queen of England. I had, of course, read up on my palacemates before I came to England. I blame my drunkenness as the reason behind my not recognizing Edward at the bar. Both of the reigning monarchs had scowls on their faces—which was a stark contrast to the glorious faces they wore in all the photos I had found on Google. The Queen's glare was far icier than the sad look her husband wore. To the King's left sat Princess Mary. She wore an inappropriate black dress and a smirk as she took in my and Edward's appearance. Her neck was draped with chunky diamond necklaces, and she had a crown on her head. I assumed it was an ironic statement, because it was made of plastic. To her left, on the love seat opposite the Queen and King, Prince Emmett sat with a blonde woman I had never seen during my research. Emmett was the eldest of the Royal Family's children and, as such, was first in line to the throne. The woman sitting next to him also had a scowl on her face. However, hers was sad and watery like the look in her eyes. She wasn't in any of the articles or pictures I had ever seen before, but it didn't take me long before I realized who she was. Her right hand was twined with Emmett's while her left rested on a pooching stomach with a giant ass rock on her third finger. Judging by the fat content on the rest of her body, I guessed that she didn't get a pooch from eating too many French fries.

"Edward's here!" Princess Mary sing-songed. My nervousness increased as she drew attention to us. However, my worries were unfounded. The couples sitting across from each other didn't spare us even a glance. They're eyes stayed locked on each other. It was a test of wills, a show of power from the older couple, and a demonstration of fearlessness from the younger. Mary merely looked amused by the whole thing. Like she was watching a fabulous circus. I only wondered who would survive the show. The lions or the lion tamers?

"Edward, how nice of you to finally join us," the Queen started without looking away from her eldest son and his pregnant wife. "Emmett here has made a right mess of everything around here. The bloody prat went off on a boys' weekend to Vegas with his mates and decided it would be a good time to bring home a pregnant American slut. The future King of bloody England married an American in Las Vegas! And he couldn't just marry her. That would be too easy. That cock-up we could fix. Oh no, he got the twat pregnant!"

I flinched at her words. I had never expected the Queen of England to have such foul language. During her rant, she had gotten up and started pacing around the room. I positioned myself slightly behind Edward to make myself as unnoticeable as possible. She poured herself a glass of amber colored liquid and downed the whole thing in one swift swallow. Finally she turned to Edward. She opened her mouth—no doubt to continue her diatribe on Emmett's situation—when she stopped, noticing my head peeking out behind Edward's shoulder. "Oh, fantastic, Edward. You brought one of your sluts to listen in on family business!" I took a step out to give the bitch a piece of good ole Tennessee hospitality when Edward squeezed my hand. He gave me a look to say A) that's not true and B) let me take care of it, please. I nodded unnoticeably and looked back to the Queen, who narrowed her eyes at me.

"You! You're Charlie Swan's little mutt!" I gasped as if she had slapped me in the face. I saw Edward's face cloud, but before he could say a word in my defense, his mother continued, "Part of the conditions of our allowing you to stay here is that you were to be kept out of sight in the palace. I'll be having a little chat with dear Charlie about his future employment and your new living arrangements. I suggest you find some."

"You will be doing no such thing, Esmeralda!" the King boomed, seeming to be jolted out of his thoughts. "You must remember, dear, that you are not Queen by your own right. You are simply married to the King."

"How could I forget, with you always reminding me, darling?" the Queen snapped back. She gave a childish pout so contradicting to the harsh words she had been spewing. The Queen poured herself another glass of liquor and returned to the love seat, glaring at the blonde woman once again.

"Please forgive my wife's outburst. She's had quite the shock this morning," the King began. "I'm delighted to make your acquaintance once again, Isabella. Over the years your father has become one of my dearest friends and confidantes. I see now why he believes you to be the most pure and radiant being in all the world. I'm so glad to see you again."

I was a little put off by his formal words and their meanings. Surely quiet and surly Charlie Swan was not who the King was talking about. "Thank you, Your Majesty," I stuttered.

"Please, darling, call me Ed. I met you when you were a very small girl, and I must say you've grown into a beautiful young woman," King Edward replied.

"She will do no such thing, Edward!" the Queen snapped. "You will refer to the King with proper respect, girl!"

The King rolled his eyes and gave me a wink. I could see the resemblance to my Edward. No, it was much too early to be calling him mine.

"Can we please return to the matter at hand? What are we going to do about this problem?" she asked waving her hand in the blonde's general direction without looking at her. Edward rolled his eyes and led me to the armchair opposite his sister. I stood at his side, feeling a little out of place, but shortly, Edward pulled me into his lap. My face turned tomato red as the Queen's head snapped our way. She gave another icy stare before turning back to the King. "Well?"

"I'm not quite sure what you want me to say Esme? The boy has married," he replied shrugging. "I'm going to suppose he needs to get her paperwork in order, but we should be able to fast track that. I know someone." The King gave a quite chuckle and the rest of his family followed with forced smiles. I however, let out a genuine laugh at the King's little joke, which earned me yet another glare from Queen Esmeralda.

"Have you gone mad?" the Queen asked her husband. "Parliament will never allow this marriage!"

"It's quite a great thing that we don't need Parliament's approval, then. Isn't it mother?" Emmett gritted.

"Do you have a suggestion, wife?" the King asked.

"Well, if he insists on having her, she could become his mistress. Still scandalous, but not unprecedented. Of course, he would have to find a suitable wife for legitimate heirs. Lord Corning has a beautiful daughter. She studied Art History at University, which would become very useful in keeping up with the décor here at the palace. I'm sure that Corning would—"

Emmett interrupted the Queen furiously. "Mother!" he boomed. "I will not be keeping Rosalie as a mistress. She is my wife, and we'll remain married until the day I die. Parliament will not dictate my marriage, and neither will you."

"Oh for Christ's sake, Emmett! You cannot remain married to her and become King. You are next in line for the throne, which means that you will be made head of the Church of England. You cannot have a child outside of wedlock."

"It's a good thing that we are married, then," Emmett replied coolly.

"So, you were married when this child was conceived?" the Queen countered.

"Well no, but that—" Emmett started, but Queen Esme cut him off, "There are no buts, Emmett. That is the law."

"Then we change the law!" Prince Emmett said.

There was silence following his statement. Everyone else had seemed to back away from the argument. We just watched as the Queen and her son volleyed arguments back and forth. However, we all seemed shocked by the Crowned Prince's suggestion. The King chewed thoughtfully on the subject.

"It could be possible, but it would be a long road, and once the press gets ahold of it, it will be very messy. Parliament would also be very hesitant because of tradition and popular opinion. Nevertheless, I will take it to the Prime Minister," the King thought out loud.

"We shouldn't take anything to the Prime Minister until we have solidified a course of action," the Queen said. "There is no use in getting everyone worked up if it isn't necessary."

The group nodded. I found it ironic that the Queen was trying to stop people from getting worked up, but I kept my mouth shut. Her suggestion sounded like the most reasonable solution and from what I had seen the kindest thing she had ever said. Everyone in the room was quite, pondering the options laid out on the table, so to speak. Until Princess Mary broke the silence.

"Edward!" she said. Both the King and my Edward looked at her confused. "Don't be thick. I'm not talking about you two. I'm talking about our great-great-great uncle. Edward VIII. Everyone told him he couldn't marry an American divorcee, so he abdicated the throne. Couldn't Emmett do that? Then he could stay married to Rosalie, and we wouldn't have to go through the process of making up a new law!"

"Alice, that's bloody brilliant!" Emmett shouted.

"Again, it's possible. It would be easier than changing the law but not much. We would have to get Parliament to agree to it and change the line of succession to Edward," the King said, looking to Edward and me. My Edward gripped my thigh reassuringly but didn't say anything.

"No one will be abdicating the throne! Are you mad?! We can't afford that kind of humiliation!" the Queen shouted.

"Fortunately, you don't have a say in this dilemma. Emmett, Edward, and I will discuss the options with the Prime Minister, and you will stay out of it," King Edward said to his wife. "Son, I want you both to think about it, and we will discuss this more tomorrow."

"Thank you, father. We definitely have quite a bit to ponder on," Emmett replied squeezing Rosalie's hand. The King nodded made his leave. There were some foreign dignitaries that required his attention.

"Fantastic! So glad I could be of assistance," Princess Mary said, clapping her hands together. "Are we done here? I have things to do."

"Not quite, Mary Alice, but rest assured, I'll get you back to your drugs momentarily," the Queen said frostily. She threw a magazine on the table towards the Princess. I didn't get a glimpse of the cover before Princess Mary picked it up.

"Aw, they edited it. The unedited picture is much better. You can see my tattoo!" the Princess said, holding up the cover for the rest of us to see. Gracing the cover of the tabloid was a picture of the Princess getting out of a limo rather ungracefully. Her dress was pulled up around her hips, and based upon the star over her crotch, I assumed she wasn't wearing any underwear. The bold words read "Princess Fanny". Underneath the bright violet letters, there was smaller writing with highlights of the story and other slanderous remarks about the Princess. I could feel the shaking of Edward's torso underneath me. I turned and smacked him on the chest for laughing at his sister, when his mother looked ready to kill. I bit my lower lip to hide the smile breaking on my face. I had to admit; whoever had titled the article did a fantastic job and had a brilliant sense of humor.

The Queen turned her sharp eyes on the pair of us. "Would you like to join your siblings on the chopping block today, Edward?" she asked, picking up an iPad off the table in front of her. She turned it on and pulled up the web browser.

As Edward said, "No thank you, mother," she slid the tablet towards us. On the screen was a grainy picture of me and Edward from the alley last night.

I knew it was Edward because of his wild hair, and I knew it was me because my hand was threaded in his hair and the tattoo of a compass was plainly displayed on the outside of my wrist. Shit! That was really the only discerning feature of me. So, only those close to me would know. After I examined the picture, I noticed the headline read "Royal Groping" and was stationed above another picture of Edward grapping my boob under my shirt.. I heard Edward snigger as he picked up the tablet. I elbowed him discreetly. This was absurdly embarrassing for me, just thinking about all the people who were going to see it. Edward scrolled down through the article, no doubt skimming to see if they had figured out who I was. I saw another picture near the bottom. It was a much better quality picture. The photo was taken this morning, as we were leaving Edward's apartment. I was grateful that you couldn't see any details as my body was pressed against the car, and Edward was covering me. My cheeks flushed as Edward continued to chuckle.

The Queen noticed. She said, "Honestly Edward, at least your little whore has the decency to be embarrassed by her behavior. What happened to you, Edward? What happened to my serious little boy who always followed the rules?"

"He realized that he was the spare, and it was easier to stay drunk than deal with this family," Edward replied, standing me up and following suit. "And mother, do not ever speak to my girlfriend in such a manner again, or when I'm King, I'll strip you of everything you have left." With that, he led me out of the room without a sparing glance.

"Edward, that's a little presumptuous," I said as he pulled me away from his family. I could hear his mother yelling obscenities as we walked down the hall away from the scene he had just created.

"Not really, Bella. Emmett has always taken his responsibilities very seriously. Now, Rose and that baby are his first priority. He met her quite some time ago on a bachelor party and has gone frequently to visit her under the guise of boys' weekends. If it comes down to it, I'd bet my stake on the throne that he will choose Rosalie," Edward said. I had guessed based on the size of her belly, that Emmett hadn't just met the mother of his child.

"That's not what I was talking about, Edward," I said. "I meant the part about my being your girlfriend was presumptuous. We just met last night after all." I said it all very dryly, like my heart wasn't doing somersaults and my head wasn't yelling at me to stop turning to mush. At my words, Edward's face flushed. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe he ever felt embarrassed.

"I suppose we could start at friends," he offered.

"Friends don't do what we did last night," I said, trying to hide the hurt and chastising myself for acting like a crazy person. "How about we meet in the middle at dating?"

"Sounds fair," Edward responded in a pondering manner.

"Good. Now, are you ready to meet Daddy?" I asked as we approached the hallway that lead to my and my father's apartment. Edward looked ill once again at the thought of facing my father and his gun.

* * *

 **Hi, me again! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you have seen _Royals,_ you now know I plan to make some changes ;)**

 **Please please please let me know what you think! See you next week lovelies!**


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